Is It Really Too Much To Ask?
by ginevrawp
Summary: Written for the Secret Santa Gift Exchange Extravaganza. Explicit Sexual Situations// After the war and the loss of Fred, Harry and Ginny have to learn how to be together again.


Ginny was sitting next to Harry on the Burrow's living room sofa. Her figure looked painfully fragile, and the light she usually seemed to radiate had been turned off. The Burrow itself was, for the first time, still. Almost lifeless.

'I need you to hold me. I need to feel you close, because that will make it real, you know? If you hold me then it'll mean that you really are here, and I haven't lost you.' Her eyes were pleading as she sat there, aching for the contact.

Harry had his gaze fixed on the floor.

'But you've lost Fred, and how could I even compare to that?'

She sighed. This was going exactly as she had expected. Exactly as she had feared, and she couldn't help but curse herself for daring to hope it'd be different. This was Harry she was talking to. She knew better.

'You can't. Ever. I love Fred, he's my brother. Was. He'll always be. You? You're Harry. And you know the difference.'

Harry slowly lifted his gaze until it met hers.,

'I, I just... I don't want to stand between you and your family and your mourning. You've all done so much for me; you deserve time to be on your own!'

His words were spoken in what Ginny had come to call his I'm-totally-convinced-that-what-I'm-doing-is-the-right-thing-even-though-it's-pure-bullshit tone. She had thought she would never hear that tone from him again after their encounter in the Room of Requirement before the battle. She had to make him see.

'Please, stop trying to set yourself aside. You're family. If you leave us now we'll be mourning you too. You've been gone for so long. And I know that you had to,' Ginny said. 'I know that, I understand. I love you for it. I just can't cope with you rejecting me right now. Not if it is for some stupid reason you think is noble. Because if you think that being with me will dishonour Fred's memory you're so off.'

'Ginny you have to be with them,' Harry protested. 'You should be hugging your mother and, I don't know, spending time with the ones that need you. The ones that really understand.'

She gasped. How dared he? She had bared her soul, she had let her guard down, and cried, and asked for a hug. Was it really too much to ask for him to stay? She stood up as she felt her own fury rising.

'My mother is being hugged right now. Do you honestly think I am neglecting her? And you do understand. You know more about grief than most. It's just that you assume that pushing everyone away is the only way to grieve. That's your way, Harry!'

Ginny turned around and walked to the door, standing under the frame while she silently counted the seconds going by. It was a habit she had gotten when she was a little girl. Having six older brothers and a temper didn't go together well, and early on her mother had shared that little trick with her. "Whenever you are feeling angry or frustrated count up to ten and you'll feel better."

Over the years, Ginny had changed the system a bit, using it partly to calm down, and partly to give the offender a chance to get things right. It wasn't after long that she nailed her brothers' guilty consciences down by the second.

Bill and Charlie knew better and never got past three before an apology and a hug. Percy would knock on her door five seconds after she shut it angrily. The twins almost seemed to know about her counting, and started tickling her at nine. Ron's time usually varied, but had not once been under two hours.

Harry was a whole different deal, though, especially as he was the only one that got an extra five seconds bonus.

As she mentally said six, strong arms circled her little frame and turned her around. Ginny couldn't help but to start sobbing into his shoulder.

'I swear, if I had gotten to ten.'

'I'm sorry. I'm second guessing myself so much,' Harry sighed. 'I want to be with you more than anything, but I can wait for you, just as you did for me. We have forever, you know?'

'Yes, and it is ours to take.'

Harry started kissing the top of her head. He immediately felt Ginny melt in his arms, letting go of all the tension. He then kissed her forehead, her moist eyelids, her salty tears, and felt Ginny's crying subside.

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. I want to be here for you,' he murmured against her lips.

'I know. I know'

Harry tightened his grip around her and promised himself right there that he would not rest until he had wiped that sad expression off Ginny's face.

The first time Ginny laughed after the war was at Fred's funeral. It felt wrong and wonderful, and for the first time since she could remember, Ginny felt that not only would she get on with her life, she would be happy again. Eventually.

George got up from his chair and turned around to speak to the guests.

'I guess we had it coming. Maybe if we hadn't been so alike, so close. We were almost interchangeable, you know? That must be why he left, because he knew you'd still have a charming fellow to make you laugh, and stand here while you cry and tell you are pathetic. And you would have to look at me and be creeped out.

'Now go blow a toilet up, make Ron blush, mess with Percy, piss Filch off.

Black robes and silence? You dishonour us. It always took a lot of effort to know who was who. He was Gred and I am Forge. We are one, and he still lives on in me, and in everyone who was foolish enough to take a treat from us. And we deserve better.

Now let's rise our wands for Fred.'

Everyone directed their wands to the sky, and at George's order sent sparks flying. Or tried to. Only George's sparks made it and spelled "Mischief Managed" in furious, glittery orange across the sky. The rest looked down only to find they were holding rubber chickens instead of their wands.

It was all so absurd, that George had the strength to stand there and joke, and be George… It seemed ridiculous that there could be a George without a Fred.

Ginny heard her own laughter, strange and distant, through her tears. It seemed to be bubbling up from her, and she started laughing a clear and healthy laugh, one that took her breath away and made her sides stitch.

She knew that George was broken, just like all of them were, but Ginny also knew that somehow, united, they would all heal.

'You keep acting like there's no tomorrow. We won the war. We have a future.'

He said as he played with a golden snitch. He let it zoom away and promptly snatched it back before it was out of reach. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ginny getting worked up.

'So we are supposed to stop living the present? We can just put it off until tomorrow, right? And so on? You could be hit by a Bludger, or you could splinch, or Merlin knows what!

'Ginny…'

I'm not asking you to talk to the press or I don't know, start Auror training right away. I just want you to be Harry and be lazy or whatever it is you want to do, together. Is that really different from what you want to do?'

Ginny stopped walking and looked up at him. With a sigh, Harry stopped too and turned to face her.

'It's not Gin, you know it's not,' Harry protested. 'Don't make this harder for me than it already is.' Ginny could feel her temper rising. The nerve he had, acting like he was suffering, of all things.

'Harder? I've heard you, you know. You selfish bastard, wanking in the shower and then being all prim and proper and… Percyish around me. Like I'm some scarlet woman for wanting us to have sex.'

Harry huffed loudly and dropped the Snitch. It flew away in a heartbeat and he didn't attempt to get it back. He just looked at Ginny disbelievingly.

'For fuck's sake Ginny, you're so far off. I'm not acting prim and proper. What's prim and proper about wanking to an image of you in your parents' house while everyone is mourning Fred?'

'Stop bringing Fred into this,' Ginny protested. 'He has nothing to do with you not wanting me!'

'You're the one who should stop! Not wanting you? This "prim and proper" act, as you put it, is taking all of my will power, and I'm about to lose it.'

His arms were flailing around as he shouted and he was shaking his head vigorously. Ginny hadn't seen him so upset for a long time.

'Well, lose it already! I'm sick of having this conversation over and over again.'

Harry sighed, running his hands through his hair. 'Are you sure about this?'

Ginny tried to give him the most reassuring look she could.

'Yes, Harry. I've thought about doing this a thousand times already. We are ready. At least, I know I am.'

'As far as willingness goes, I know I'm ready. Hell, I've been ready for more than a year. But, what if I'm not good enough, or… I don't know how to do it, or… I just really want this to be perfect for you, Gin.'

Seeing Harry like this, so insecure and unsure of himself, reminded her of a little boy who didn't know where the Platform 9 ¾ was. Warmth flood through her, and she brought his face down to hers, holding it a mere inch away. She looked at him, hoping she could convey all she wanted to say in that gaze.

'Oh Harry, who wants perfect? Does it even exist? What's perfect? Mind-blowing, simultaneous orgasms? Going at it for hours? Being surrounded by floating candles and wearing fancy underwear? I don't need that. I just want you. I want my Harry.'

Harry kissed her and held her close.

'You know you have me. Always will.'

Harry could feel his cock pressing against his jeans. Even if he forgot that they were going to do it for the first time –which he could absolutely not forget--just the sight of her, splayed on her bed, red hair swaying over her pillow, made him hard.

He met her mouth angrily, and his resolve of taking things slow was left behind in a matter of seconds. He started kissing her neck, searching for that place that made her moan; a place he once had been able to find in a heartbeat.

Her little gasps of pleasure were the very sound of victory, and his roaming hands finally found her breasts. He opened her shirt, and discovered patches of freckled skins with every button unbuttoned. She was not wearing a bra, and just the thought of it made his cock twitch. He gently touched one of her nipples with the pad of his thumb and it was like electricity. He knew she had felt it, too.

He cupped her breasts and squeezed them, brought them together and looked at them in awe.

'Missed them much, Harry?'

'You have no idea'

He took one nipple in his mouth and sucked it, circled it with his tongue. It was thrilling, to feel it harden inside of his warm mouth. He opened one eye to watch her, and what he saw almost took his breath away.

Ginny was stretching her neck like a cat, her eyes closed and her teeth lightly biting her bottom lip. When he pinched her other nipple, all the while sucking and licking the first one, she let out a small moan.

She was beautiful, and Harry was glad that there was enough light in her room to make each inch of her body perfectly visible. They hadn't had a lot of privacy while they were dating earlier, and Hogwarts broom closets weren't particularly known for their comfort and lightning conditions

Harry felt a flash of pride hit him when he caressed her legs and felt goose bumps all over her skin.

He started sliding down the bed and took her shorts off. He gently blew on her opening and felt her shiver.

They had done this already, in secluded moments within Hogwarts, when they had known they didn't have much time left.

Harry handed Ginny his glasses, and she took them quickly, panting with anticipation of what was going to come.

Harry hadn't kissed her down under for so long he feared he might have forgotten how to make her come; but as soon as he inhaled her scent, he nibbled on her folds and remembered all of it, all of having Ginny surround him and cluster his senses, all of Ginny's cries of pleasure.

He was making her wiggle against his mouth, and Ginny's little gasps and chants of 'Harry, yesss, there' and the way her mouth took the shape of an "o" were a bit too much. His hips started humping the bed of their own accord, and before he realized it, he came with a long shudder.

Ginny was still panting underneath him, lazily drawing circles on his back with her thin fingers, when she told him what he had been expecting to hear all night.

'Your turn, Harry. And you know what'll come afterwards.'

She was crying. She was crying because sex didn't have healing powers. She was crying because she was just as broken as before. She was crying because he looked so peaceful, so bloody gorgeous, all sweaty out of breath, and coming. She was crying because she got to make love to him, because they got to live and have a future. She was crying because it was almost too much. It was almost perfect.

His arms gave away and he collapsed over her, his weight a lovely reminder of what had just happened, of the way he had made her feel whole and hollow, and feminine and beautiful, and oh so many things other things that she could not yet explain.

She silently wiped away a tear, and regretted it almost instantly as Harry got his head up in alarm.

'Are you ok? Did I hurt you? What's wrong? Am I too heavy?' He rolled to his side and faced her 'I knew I was going to fuck it up. Oh my God, I'm sorry, I swear I didn't meant to…'

She slapped him lightly on his shoulder.

'It's not been five minutes and you already regret it.'

'Of course not! But you were crying …'

'Maybe it's just that you're a lousy shag' she said, snuggling up to him. 'Not.' She finished with a giggle as she saw Harry's outraged glare.

'This summer's been so difficult. Hell, this year's been difficult. This life, probably.'

'I see where you're going'

'I just felt overwhelmed. What we did was beautiful and touching and even sad. In a strange way. Am I making sense?'

'You're, love'

She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent that was Harry.

'Good she started trailing kisses up his collarbone 'Have you noticed that your first times always seem to involve crying girls?'

'You know, I figured sex would involve some level of wetness, but not that particular kind.'

'I'm sure Ron would be delighted to hear your description of tonight,' Ginny smiled naughtily.

'Just as much as you'd be to hear Hermione's description of their sex life.' Harry took up the challenge, and rolled over her, lightly caressing her right calf. 'Though it'd be worse. You're his very female' his hand went up to her knee, 'very younger' his thumb brushed over her inner thigh 'sister.'

Harry finished the thought and started to draw lazy circles on the sensitive skin that surrounded her clit.

'I'm sure he'll get over it' she moaned as she gave in to Harry's touch.

There were still tears to be shed and love to be made, and no matter how much they cried and had sex, they would never be the same again. And that was fine with them, because at least there was some relief, there was growth.

They would all get over it, Ginny thought with a rush of pride, they were already on the road to be happy again.


End file.
